Hey, remember when this blog was about reading through a list of fantasy novels? Man, those were the days.
Anyway, I realize that “bad Twilight rip offs are bad” is a sentiment that has been expressed many times in the last few years. But it hasn’t been expressed by me yet, so a while back I asked on twitter if there were any YA books where the magical boyfriend is Satan. I received the following reply:
Now I think we can all agree that this raises obvious questions, such as “why would someone ever be named Sin?”, “how exactly does one spank someone to orgasm, and why do it in a cornfield?” and “what the flying fuck?”. Luckily Bear Bergslien was able to hook me up with a PDF copy of the book in question, Swoon by one Nina Malkin. In order to better help me explore the mysteries of this book I’ve crafted a YA cliche bingo card which I will be referring back to at the end of each post:
Purple squares represent cover design cliches. Let’s see how Swoon fares, will we?
Okay, stop me if you’ve heard this before: there’s this ordinary kid, right? They’re, like, ordinary. They live in America or wherever. In a house and stuff. And then one day they find like this door, except instead of leading to a room it leads to- get this- another world. Only it’s a totally crazy world with magic and dragons and shit. But it turns out there’s something wrong in crazytown because of evil and stuff, and only our plucky hero can save the day!!!!
If you’re at all acquainted with any form of fiction you’ve probably seen this story more times than you can count. It’s widely regarded as one of the most hackneyed, overplayed concepts you can possibly commit to paper or any other medium, just barely ahead of “if you die in the game you die for real” in terms of originality. So it would take something pretty damn special to make me want to follow yet another plucky young hero through the looking glass, right?
Okay, that might do it.