I’ve got the Let’s Read itch and will be looking to scratch it come December, but unfortunately Rothfuss hasn’t obliged me by ensuring Doors Of Stone will be available to be subjected to our thorough scholarship and thoughtful all-caps analysis.
So instead I want you, the readers, to vote on what my next post series will be because I can’t decide and keep flip-flopping on the options. Here are the four choices (note that choices that don’t get picked now will probably get their chance later. I reserve the right to switch to something else if the winning option turns out to not be as interesting as I had anticipated)
Option #1: Doctor Sleep by Stephen King
Ah, Stephen King. I know some people dismiss him entirely, but I’m of the opinion that he’s perfectly capable of producing a fun page-turner, particularly in his shorter fiction. The problem is that when he fails he fails hard, and while I haven’t read it Doctor Sleep seems like it might go in that direction.
It’s a sequel to The Shining, because apparently someone thought that would be a good idea, and also involves a totally batshit plot about psychic vampires torturing children to death, or something. The thing that really made me believe this could be a hilarious train wreck is that one of the synopses includes the phrase “a very special 12-year old girl”. There is a place where all of King’s worst habits collide, and that place is a Very Special psychic pre-teen. Also, apparently she’s “spunky”.
I cannot fucking wait to see how Stephen King handles a spunky psychic girl. It will be the worst thing, by which I mean the best thing.
Option #2: Green by Jay Lake
Jay Lake is kind of notorious for being a shit-head, and I feel like it’s generally known that Green isn’t very good and also kind of racist and sexist (but of course). However, as far as I’m aware it hasn’t been subjected to the sort of rigorous in-depth scholarship we here at Doing In The Wizard specialize in. Clearly, this must be fixed.
Option #3: Brandon Sanderson roulette
If this option wins I will use a random number generator to pick a Branderson book to go through, with the obvious condition that it not be the middle or end of a trilogy or anything.
What makes me simultaneously interested in and wary of this option is that Branderson shares many of Rothfuss’s flaws (except that shit actually happens in his books). That puts us on familiar ground, but it also means a Branderson Let’s Read could end up being kind of samey.
Options #4: Wizard’s First
Day At School Rule by Terry Goodkind
This is one of those books I’m familiar with solely through hearing horror stories about it, recounted in tones of pained awe. I know almost nothing about the plot of this or any other book in the series apart from vague descriptions of all the crazy shit that apparently happens- he punches en eight year old girl? The villain is named “Darken Rahl”, seriously? Evil pacifists? And of course the LIFE statue thing.
The risk here is that the actual first book itself could just turn out to be unremarkable, as I’ve most of the really off the wall stuff happens later in the series.
The poll will continue for however long it takes a clear front-runner to emerge, at which point I’ll declare a winner. Get voting!