Let’s Read The Fifth Sorceress ch. 25

fifth_sorceress_title

It’s time for more The Fifth Sorceress. Who wants more The Fifth Sorceress do you want more

Tristan, Wigg and Geldon have left Narissa behind in a cave while they go save the world. That character sure had a big impact on the plot, I’m glad she was awkwardly inserted into the story this late in the book.

Despite the shininess of the tears forming in her eyes, Narrissa had bravely accepted the situation,

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Truly, they were the shiniest of tears.

Hey everyone check this out:

The large body of water that surrounded it was still and tranquil tonight, as there was as yet no breeze to disturb its surface.

[…]

and flags carrying the Pentangle could be seen everywhere, waving in the stiffening night breeze.

There’s about a page separating those two quotes.

It’s not like a minor continuity error like this actually affects your enjoyment of the story or anything, but it makes the whole book seem slapdash and poorly put together. I the author didn’t care enough to check things like this, why should I care enough to keep reading?

Geldon is all like “be careful when we go through the thing or they’ll know we’re trying to pull a switcheroo on them” and Tristan and Wigg are like “okay”.

Lying in the grass next to the prince, Wigg could feel against his chest the hardness of the small pewter locket that Faegan had quietly given him just before he and Tristan had left Shadowood.

I don’t remember that happening, but I’ll assume it did. I was skimming pretty hard by the end of the Faegan section.

he knew that now was the time to conduct the difficult conversation with Tristan.

Oh god not another conversation

Three nights from now, when the Blood Communion begins,

Seriously what is up with the timeline here? I swear the number of days until the Communion keeps changing.

Wigg says that if he’s killed, Tristan needs to take the pewter locket and look into it. He won’t tell Tristan what’s in it so the information can’t be tortured out of him. Which, okay, but surely if Tristan was in a position to be tortured the sorceresses could just take the locket and open it themselves.

Also why doesn’t Wigg just give Tristan the locket? Wouldn’t that make it easier to open? What if he gets eaten by a dragon or something?

At least this plot point all but guarantees that Wigg is going to die, so yay for that.

Need I remind you of my attempts to make you listen to me that night on the dais?’

Well you could have just told him before the abdication ceremony began, but no.

Wigg also says that even though both he and the sorceresses will lose their magic power during the Communion, if Tristan concentrates hard enough he might be able to do something small due to the quality of his blood. It’s just more of the book’s usual habit of over-explaining everything that’s going to happen.

On the other hand I can see why this was necessary: the fact that Tristan has wizard powers has had such little impact on the plot, I keep forgetting about it. Presumably it will become relevant at the climax of the story.

Tristan is absolutely flabbergasted by this for some reason, although then again he’s flabbergasted by most things.

‘When you finally hear your heart,’ Wigg continued, ‘you must use your mind to will whatever it is you want to take place.

Tristan’s heart has to grow three sizes so he can use magic, got it.

There’s more needless over-complication, as Wigg explains that Tristan using the craft might “change” him in some vague way, but it didn’t change him when he used the craft to see the bridge back at the gnome canyon because it was only a very small use of the craft and zzzzzz

Easier way to resolve this: Assuming this business with Tristan being “changed” is more important than the canyon being invisible, just ditch the thing with the canyon being invisible and have it be secured by being so far away and remote. Problem solved.

Thankfully the conversation isn’t quite as long as I was hoping, and they set off for the sorceress fortress. The fact that the Communion is still three days away makes me leery of how much padding will be between now and the end of the book.

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6 thoughts on “Let’s Read The Fifth Sorceress ch. 25

  1. Pingback: Let’s Read The Fifth Sorceress ch. 26 | Doing In The Wizard

  2. Mr Elbows

    on the positive side, this makes me feel better about my own writing… and I don’t even have to read the book myself!

    Reply
  3. Signatus

    Really, it just takes a few re-reads to get everything more or less correct. Anyways, I’m one who likes to keep a chart where timeline is concerned so as not to have these sort of stupid issues.

    “Wigg says that if he’s killed, Tristan needs to take the pewter locket and look into it.”

    Aside from what you’ve said, there really isn’t anything that special that should be concealed from Tristan. The author is doing this for no reason at all, other than to add a slight moment of tension that… really, it never arrives anyways.

    “It’s just more of the book’s usual habit of over-explaining everything that’s going to happen.”

    It’s a plothole, and the author is trying to cover it somehow. There is not a single moment in the book where the Chosen One is told to be able to do “wandless magic”. So far he’s the only one capable of uniting the Vigors and the Vagaries, so this is just adding more “awesome” into the character for plot reasons. It’s pretty bad craft, really.

    “because it was only a very small use of the craft and ”

    Plothole.

    “Easier way to resolve this: ”

    To be perfectly honest, there are sooo many ways this book could have been resolved. Start with the sorceresses running away, escaping the wizards by travelling across the Sea of Whispers, and the ship where the wizards are stopping at the 15 day mark because the sailors are too superstitious about it. This could include some pretty rad naval persecution and quiet a few interesting conversations, explaining a few things but leaving it to the imagination. Even the wizards’ could have shown some personality there, maybe considering the sailors a bunch of superstitious fools, leaving a lot to the imagination. Or maybe they do know something is out there, and believe the Sorceresses are as good as dead.

    Continue back to Eutracia. Shailiah is a best friend of Natasha and knows all about the wars and her endowed blood. Tristan is a petulant, arrogant idiot who has been trained in the craft while Shailiah is left aside. She feels betrayed as her magic is as strong as her brother’s and believes it is unfair that women are unable to practice the craft. Maybe the sorceress wars themselves could have been focused on this principle, where sorceresses were left to menial magic tricks while the wizards were in control of the books of knowledge and could master great ammounts of power. This way the war could have a reason to be.

    Maybe the wizards did know about the prophecy and tried to avoid it by moving the ceremony to the Recluse or whatever the underground chamber is called. But they didn’t know they had a betrayer inside, Shailiah, who would open the doors for the minions. The royal family is killed, Tristan manages to escape by using a magic trick (nothing about loosing powers over a stupid stone) and, from here on, we can continue on this line, leaving out all the “I’m no saying for no reason at all” and “I’n filling in plotholes with even bigger plotholes”.

    I just thought about this in ten minutes. It surely doesn’t make a story but with a little work it can become a shorter, simpler and better version of this piece of trash, leaving out all the overcomplicated shit like the Agonies (I’m still not sure how these are supposed to work), the fact that the wizards conceal information for no reason, keep Tristan from learning the craft for no reason, and change the version of events using Deus Ex Machinas constantly for plot reasons only, instead of focusing on crafting a solid story where each character has their own motivations.

    Reply
      1. Signatus

        Guess that’s because I’d rather put more thought into characters and why they do things than the actual story itself. The story is important, but it’s nothing but an empty vessel if the characters are not sound and believable.

        Reply
  4. Pingback: Let’s Read The Fifth Sorceress ch. 24 | Doing In The Wizard

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