This blog causes a lot of existential questioning on my part.
I’ve said multiple times that I go into everything I read completely willing to like it, and that the purpose here isn’t strictly to laugh at bad books. On the other hand, it could be argued that I’ve now more than proven to myself that me and fantasy just don’t see eye to eye and that by continuing to read books in the genre I’m stacking the deck in favour of lulz-reading. It’s an issue I don’t really know how to resolve.
All of which is a preamble to me telling you that I’m reading this book solely and completely because I’ve been told– multiple times, by people whose opinions and taste I trust– that RA Salvatore’s Forgotten Realms D&D tie-in fiction is hilariously awful.
His most well known work involves the stupidly named dark elf Drizzt Do’Urden, and I was going to take a look at one of those, but someone showed me quotes from this one and it seemed too good to pass up. I have absolutely no idea what it’s about– I haven’t even read the back cover– so apart from that I’m going in sight unseen.
After ignoring requests to read these books for the last umpteen years I’m finally diving in. A long time ago, way before the TV show was even announced, I made a brief attempt to read A Game Of Thrones but quickly gave up because it was boring, although I’ve watched all but the last season of the TV show. I suppose I’ll get slightly further this time.
I decided to use my long-dormant Goodreads account to write a little spiel about a book I didn’t finish. If you keep an eye out you may at some point in the future see me use that site to complain about other books I didn’t finish as well.
Okay let’s have one more post of Aquaman The Moist And Azoth The Adorable Urchin In Grimdark Land before we move on.
Oh also: trigger warning. Again.
In the last post I solicited alternatives to the cringe-inducing “wetboy”. Two responses stood out, so I’ve decided to use them both: wetboys will from here on out be known as Moistmen, while our friend Durzo Blint will go by the moniker Aquaman. Thanks to Mr. Elbows and annabanana12698 for the suggestions.
Also: I don’t do this often, but I’m going to go ahead and put a trigger warning on this post, as chapter five deals with rape in a particularly tasteless and gross way.