Let’s Read The Wheel of Time: TEoTW ch. 27-28

isbn9781857230765

Chapter 27: Shelter From The Storm

Aaaaand we’re skipping most of this chapter because it’s just treacly descriptions of how whimsical the Wagon Bros are, Perrin being restless and trying to convince Elyas to leave, and Egwene and Hot Wagon Bro flirting, and Perrin getting all weird and possessive as a result. Oh and some of the Wagon girls do Secksy Dancing and Perrin gets all hot under the collar. Yes, it’s another inexperienced virgin who women find irresistible. I think Rand also falls into this category.

The real action starts when Ba’alzamon invades one of Perrin’s dreams to blather some more (MWA HA HA YOU ARE MINE THE EYE OF THE WORLD MWA HA HA), burning the dream-wolf who had been guarding Perrin in the process. They decide it’s time to leave.

“You came in peace,” Raen intoned, bowing formally, hands on his chest. “Depart now in peace. Always will our fires welcome you, in peace. The Way of the Leaf is peace.”

“Peace be on you always,” Elyas replied, “and on all the People.” He hesitated, then added, “I will find the song, or another will find the song, but the song will be sung, this year or in a year to come. As it once was, so shall it be again, world without end.”

This seems somewhat familiar:

… As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.

[…]

Deacon or Priest:  Go in the peace of Christ.
or  The Mass is ended, go in peace.
or  Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.
All
Thanks be to God!

I don’t know if it’s the same in other Christian denominations, but anyone who had to endure countless Catholic masses in their youth will have these words burned into their memory.

Man, looking back on that, I had no idea what the priest was even fucking talking about half the time. If you put a gun to my head I don’t think I could have explained what a single key concept of Catholicism actually meant. Like, the Trinity? God is three people? What?

And it’s not just because I was a kid, I’ve encountered plenty of people of my mom’s generation who stuck with the religion far longer, and who also completely failed to internalise a single thing about it. The entire church congregation might as well have been asleep. The only time anyone paid any attention is when the priest did something mortifying in the sermon like start rapping “Jesus in the house.” I’m serious, that actually happened. I remember fervently wishing the church would spontaneously combust.

….wait what were we talking about?

Oh right, Wheel of Time! Yes.

Finally he said, “What did you spend so much time talking about with Ila? If you weren’t dancing with that long-legged fellow, you were talking to her like it was some kind of secret.”

“Ila was giving me advice on being a woman,” Egwene replied absently. He began laughing, and she gave him a hooded, dangerous look that he failed to see.

“Advice! Nobody tells us how to be men. We just are.”

“That,” Egwene said, “is probably why you make such a bad job of it.” Up ahead, Elyas cackled loudly.

That was actually pretty funny.

Chapter 28: Footprints in Air

thesnowman.2

It’s back over to Nynaeve, Moiraine and Lan. What are those loveable scamps getting up to?

Nynaeve stared in wonder at what lay ahead down the river, the White Bridge gleaming in the sun with a milky glow.

They’ve arrived in Whitebridge just behind Rand and Mat.

Tar Valon. She would go there, if need be, and take their training, but not for the reasons the Aes Sedai thought. If Moiraine had brought harm to Egwene and the boys. . . .

Jesus Christ Nynaeve, let it go. Are you really going to go through Aes Sedai training (which involves a whole lot of stupid bullshit) just to get petty revenge on Moiraine? Why the fuck are you even still blaming her for all of this?

If only there was some way to get rid of the woman. Lan would be better by himself—a Warder should be able to handle what was needed, she told herself hastily, feeling a sudden flush; no other reason—but one meant the other.

I’m starting to rapidly regret defending Nynaeve. I get that this is supposed to be demonstrating that she’s actually still quite young and not nearly as mature as she thinks she is, but it’s still incredibly annoying to read.

Nynaeve continues to get all fluttery whenever Lan looks at her (b-but it’s not because she likes him or anything!) as they travel. Because this is epic fantasy, this indicates that they’re headed for destined true love and not that she just wants to bone him.

“He is still watching, however”—she sighed—“and his gaze is stronger. Not on us, but on the world. How much longer before he is strong enough to. . . .”

Thirteen books. That’s how much longer.

They arrive in Whitebridge to find that several buildings have been recently burned down and the townspeople are acting jumpy and nervous. After digging around for information Moiraine gets a garbled version of the aftermath of the Myrddrall attack, which seemed to involve a mob unsuccessfully trying to storm Captain Domon’s boat. They go to the inn that Thom and the boys visited, Moiraine following some sort of magical trail.

And… that’s all that happened. Huh.

Next chapter’s going to be exciting though! It involves evil crows.

 

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Let’s Read The Wheel of Time: TEoTW ch. 27-28

  1. Aaron Adamec-Ostlund (@AaronAO)

    As someone who was raised Episcopalian I too learned next to nothing from attending church, although partly it’s because my parents let me read during service as long as I was discreet. The only reason I know anything about Christianity is because it pops up a lot in history books (for some reason), and because I wanted to familiarize myself with some of the concepts for whenever someone brings up Jesus in a political discussion.

    Reply
  2. Signatus

    Lets say I’m so sick of romance in books and movies I either avoid it or pay it no attention. Maybe if they were homosexual it’d be fun for a change. At least it won’t be as obvious (not that this is the case) that the female counterpart is only there to be the hero’s trophy.

    Reply
    1. ronanwills Post author

      Pretty much feel the same way about romance. It doesn’t help that 99% of the time the romance is just in there to fulfill an obligation and the participants have no chemistry at all.

      Reply
  3. reveen

    Seeing how “classic fantasy” handles romance, I kinda start seeing where grimdark authors are coming from when they insist on every romantic entanglement in their books being a shallow ficklest that ends badly.

    Not that it isn’t still bullshit, because for all the time fantasy writers constantly kowtow to or subvert tropes they could be writing relatable stories about characters who act like people. But I can see why the blowback against cliche fantasy is the way it is.

    The only time anyone paid any attention is when the priest did something mortifying in the sermon like start rapping “Jesus in the house.”

    I swear to god the combination of rap and white people has produced more per capita embarrassment than anything else in history.

    Hey, don’t yell at me Eminem fans. You know it’s true too.

    Reply
  4. sanderrp

    Huh. I’m having trouble of thinking of any fantasy book where an infatuation didn’t turn into at least a heavy, deep love for the ages.

    Actually there’s one: Kate Elliott’s Spiritwalker Trilogy, which does a wonderful thing with an infatuation over the course of the final two books. But then it also has a concurrent, long-running (if interrupted for considerable lengths of time) Pride and Prejudice-style romance. Fantasy authors really, really love pulling those off, too.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s